David (Former Green Beret): I spent 12 years in Special Forces. My team sergeant had been through Ranger School, SERE, and three combat deployments before I ever met him. He trained with us, jumped with us, and bled with us. When he gave an order, we followed — not because we had to, but because we trusted him.
Simon (Former SAS): I served 10 years in the British Special Air Service. Our troop commander was the first one out of the helicopter and the last one back in. He carried the same weight, ate the same rations, and slept in the same mud. When he spoke, we listened — because he'd earned that right through shared sacrifice.
Then we both moved to the United States and started attending American churches. And we were shocked by what we saw.
Pastors who showed up in designer clothes and drove luxury vehicles. Leaders who demanded loyalty but shared no sacrifice. Men who preached about servanthood from stages they controlled, surrounded by security teams that kept them isolated from the very people they claimed to shepherd.
This isn't leadership. It's celebrity. And it's the opposite of what Scripture commands.
In Special Forces, there's an unwritten rule: leaders eat last. When we came off a mission, exhausted and hungry, our team sergeant would make sure every man on the team had food before he touched his own plate. It wasn't a show. It wasn't performative. It was just how leadership worked.
I remember one deployment in Afghanistan. We were operating out of a remote firebase with limited supplies. Our team leader gave up his cot so a younger guy with a back injury could sleep better. He slept on the ground for three weeks. When someone asked him about it, he just shrugged and said, "He needs it more than I do."
That's leadership. Not because it's dramatic or heroic, but because it's sacrificial. Leaders bear the burden so their men don't have to.
In the SAS, rank means nothing if you haven't proven yourself. I've seen captains get absolutely destroyed by sergeants during selection because they thought their commission entitled them to respect. It doesn't. Respect is earned through competence, courage, and character.
Our squadron commander was a legend — not because of his rank, but because he'd done everything he asked us to do. He'd passed selection. He'd been shot at. He'd made hard calls under fire. When he briefed a mission, we knew he understood what he was asking because he'd lived it.
You can't lead men into danger if you've never been there yourself. And you can't demand loyalty if you haven't earned trust.
The first megachurch I attended in the States had a pastor who literally arrived at the Easter service by helicopter. He landed on the church property, walked onto the stage surrounded by security, preached for 35 minutes, and left the same way.
I sat there thinking: This man has no idea who I am. He doesn't know my name. He doesn't know my struggles. He doesn't know anything about the people he's supposedly shepherding.
In Special Forces, if a commander showed up by helicopter, gave orders, and left without talking to his men, he'd be relieved of command for "loss of confidence." Because that's not leadership — it's theater.
I attended a church where the pastor preached a sermon about loyalty to leadership. He said that questioning the pastor was like questioning God. He quoted 1 Chronicles 16:22 — "Do not touch my anointed ones" — and applied it to himself.
I'd never heard anything like it. In the SAS, if an officer demanded loyalty without earning it, the men would lose respect immediately. Loyalty isn't demanded — it's given freely to leaders who prove themselves worthy of it.
This pastor hadn't earned anything. He'd never suffered with his congregation. He lived in a mansion while families in the church struggled to pay rent. He drove a Range Rover while single mothers worked two jobs. And he had the audacity to demand loyalty?
When we started studying what the Bible says about church leadership, we realized something shocking: The biblical model looks exactly like Special Operations leadership — and nothing like celebrity pastor culture.
"You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
— Matthew 20:25-28 (ESV)
David: This is exactly what we practiced in Special Forces. The best leaders served their men. They carried extra weight. They took the worst shifts. They made sure everyone else was taken care of before they rested.
Simon: Same in the SAS. The officers who earned our respect were the ones who served us — not the ones who demanded we serve them.
Jesus modeled this perfectly. He washed his disciples' feet — a task reserved for the lowest servant. He touched lepers. He ate with sinners. He had nowhere to lay his head. He led by example, not by hype.
"You yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate."
— 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9 (ESV)
Paul was an apostle — the highest level of church leadership. He had the right to be supported financially by the churches he planted. But he chose to work with his hands making tents so he wouldn't be a burden.
David: This is the "leaders eat last" principle in action. Paul sacrificed his own comfort so the churches wouldn't struggle to support him.
Simon: And notice — he did it "to give you in ourselves an example to imitate." Leadership is about modeling the behavior you want to see, not demanding it from a distance.
"Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not dominating over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock."
— 1 Peter 5:2-3 (ESV)
Peter gives three contrasts for church leaders:
David: This is exactly what we saw in the best Special Forces leaders. They didn't dominate — they inspired. They didn't demand — they modeled.
Simon: And they certainly weren't in it for "shameful gain." The best officers I served under could have made more money in the private sector. They stayed because they believed in the mission and loved their men.
In Special Forces, we had a saying: "There are no bad teams, only bad leaders." When a mission failed, we didn't blame the operators — we looked at the leadership. Because leadership determines everything.
The same is true in churches. When churches are spiritually dead, when people are leaving, when the gospel witness is compromised — it's a leadership problem. And specifically, it's a problem of leaders who lead by hype instead of example.
In the SAS, arrogant leaders were dangerous. They made bad decisions because they refused to listen to input. They took unnecessary risks because they believed their own hype. And when things went wrong, people died.
In churches, arrogant pastors are spiritually dangerous. They make bad decisions because they have no accountability. They abuse their authority because they believe they're "anointed." And when things go wrong, people's faith is destroyed.
David: In Special Forces, we had a selection process that weeded out guys who wanted to be heroes. We didn't want glory-seekers — we wanted quiet professionals who would do the job without needing recognition.
Churches need the same filter. Pastors who seek celebrity, who crave the spotlight, who need constant affirmation — they're disqualified. Biblical leadership is about serving, not being served.
Simon: If your pastor lives noticeably better than the congregation, something is wrong. Biblical shepherds share the hardships of the flock. They don't live in luxury while their people struggle.
Ask yourself: Does my pastor know what it's like to worry about bills? Has he ever struggled financially? Does he understand the pressures his congregation faces? If not, he's not shepherding — he's performing.
David: Every military leader has a chain of command. There's always someone above you who can correct you, remove you, or hold you accountable. Pastors need the same structure.
Simon: A pastor with no accountability is a disaster waiting to happen. Plural elder governance, denominational oversight, financial transparency — these aren't optional. They're essential.
David: When I left Special Forces and started looking for a church, I used the same criteria I used to evaluate military leaders: Does this man lead by example? Does he share the hardships of his people? Has he earned the right to lead?
Most celebrity pastors failed that test immediately. But I found a small church with a pastor who drives a 12-year-old Honda, works a part-time job to supplement his modest salary, and knows every family in the congregation by name. That's biblical leadership.
Simon: Same here. After seeing the celebrity pastor circus, I found a church where the elders are plural, accountable, and accessible. The pastor doesn't have a security team — he has coffee with members after the service. He doesn't arrive by helicopter — he helps set up chairs before the service starts.
That's what Jesus modeled. That's what Paul practiced. That's what Peter commanded.
"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."
— Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV)
Jesus had all authority in heaven and earth. He could have demanded worship, luxury, and service. Instead, he emptied himself, took the form of a servant, and died for those he led.
That's the model. That's the standard. Anything less is a counterfeit.
The question is: Which model will your church follow? Leading by example, or leading by hype?
12 years in U.S. Army Special Forces, multiple combat deployments. Now serves as a deacon in a biblically-governed church.
10 years in British Special Air Service. Relocated to the U.S. and now helps veterans evaluate church leadership.